10 miles....for you boys  / Mummy

Well we did it boys 10 miles was apparently more like 12 but it was all worth it, lots of aching limbs sore feet and wet shoes but alot of fun was had by all I think, I haven't heard a bad report yet so I surpose we will be doing it again next year!
  It was very emotional, it made us aware of how much we are all loved and I mean all 5 of us the amount of people that crossed that finish line and told me I did it for Connor and Rhys, was amazing, I loved hearing your names all day you were spoken about constantly and it was lovely. We have been given lots of lovely photos to keep but my memories of today will be just like you two, forever in my heart and just as percious. 
  Connor and Rhys you have brought so much love in to our lives and were good enough to leave it when you left us. Thank you for making me a better person, help me grow without you and I will always try and make you both proud of me.

Your Ever Loving Mummy xXx xXx

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As time goes on  / Daddy
Its been what seems like forever since I was last on here, I don't know why? I've been so preoccupied with trying to get on with 'life' that I suppose I forgot that this is it, not that i've forgot about you, your in my thoughts and my heart all the time. I deal with things so differently to everyone else and I just don't know how to combine it all, in my head there are two places there are you two and then there is 'normal life' with your mum and ben and everyone and everything else. I want to take down the barriers but it hurts and i don't know how and being this way just seems easier!!
      With the walk coming up tomorrow its brought home to me how much i've not been there for you all, for you two, cause i've not been to see you as often as I'd like, for every one around thats giving up they're time and money to help us with the walk and I've not properly thanked anyone, for your whole family thats doing so much and just being there for mum, ben and me, thank you all if you read this. For ben for being the most wonderful distraction from the bad things, too much sometimes . . . but you and I know you have the most amazing brother in the world and finally to your mum, who has organised this walk on her own, she credits me with it too but i know i've not been that much help . She is the strongest person i've ever met and she has held us together from the beginning, she doesn't think she's strong but you can see as I do that she is incredible and without her none of this would have happened. I know you'll read this Clare and I wanted to thank you for being who you are and being with me and giving me the three most beautiful boys in the world.
    As time goes on and everything around us changes I won't let you both go completely from our lives I will always talk about you, think about you and make sure everyone knows I have got the three most special children God ever created, wherever you are, and I promise that I'll try harder to be there for you and those who mean the world to me. Sleep tight my boys, God bless. Close

Bag Packing  / Aunty Lynne

Wow boys what a day! Asda were so kind giving us the opportunity to bag pack. I know some of us weren't to keen to do it, i think me being one of the worst! I know i had to do it though for you two and i'm just so glad I did.
We all had a good day and met some lovely people, from the checkout staff to the customers and I know we all just could'nt believe how generous people are. Many people said they were sorry that they only had a few coppers to give but all of those coppers, coins and notes made an AMAZING £1265 so much more than we were expecting to get! Before we got to asda your Mummy said if we all get £10 each that would be great so to raise so much more was so overwelhming and meant so much especially to your Mummy and Daddy.
We were all very tired at the end and had many aching limbs (nothing compared to next week i'm sure!!) so it was lucky your muscle man daddy was there to carry the 4 and a half stone bucket full of money home!!!
But then we had to count it, it covered Nannas rug and took 7 of us at least an hour to count it out, with Nanna making us laugh by getting out some plastic gloves to stop her hands getting dirty!!!
Even Ben came to help counting out the pennies!
When we added the total amount we were all amazed it was nothing close to what we were expecting for four hours of bag packing we may of been tired, but it was worth it for the fun and valuable bag packing skills we all now have!!  
I know though that for me just to make all those people stop for a few minutes and ask about both of you or think about the amazing work all the SCBU staff do was worth it.
Thinking about you both always xxx ^i^ ^i^ xxx     

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6 months old  / Mummy

Boys,
Today you are 6 months old and things have got no easier in fact every day is harder because it's one more day without you both. I don't know how we are meant to move on but I do know that with every passing day, one thing inside of us all grows and thats the love that we've shared, even though we are far apart we need to hold tight to our memories and know that were together forever. 

The hardest thing that we have ever had to do was to let you both go after that short time we shared, The night you were born was a blessing we just wish we could have had longer but I guess you can never have enough of a good thing and we would never have had enough!

 I miss you both my precious babies I wish we could be close and that things were different, so very different. I have no words to describe the sadness and hurt that we are feeling not having you both in our lives, I just want you both back so badly!
You both stole my heart and I don't want it back!            

Your broken hearted Mummy xXx xXx

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Busy weekend  / Aunty Lynne
Hello boys, what a busy weekend we've had, your Mum and Dad have been so busy organising your walk and Nanna and I have  tagged along. We went to see the lake, its beautiful and just the right place for the walk, we had lots of fun, from mummys car getting covered in mud by a big tractor to walking in the wind with ben, and chasing your daddys hat as it blew away a couple of times. Even though we only did a couple of miles we know we'll be able to do it all as just thinking about you will push us along! 
Mummy, Ben and you both were in the newspaper making people aware of the very special walk that your Mummy and Daddy are organising, I was very proud of Mummy as i know it was a very hard thing for her to do. 
We've been busy again today dropping leaflets at lots of houses we've already had two sponsers, which despite the cold winds and hail it made it all worth while, although thankfully you held back the snow until we got home! 
 Today was a hard day for mummy being mothers day but it felt to me like you've been with us all weekend im sure all the silly little things that have happened have been down to you two!!
Your two very special little boys and everyting that we've been doing has been so worthwhile as its given us the chance to show how amazing and special to us you are 
^i^ xxx lots of kisses and cuddles xxx ^i^ 
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Mummys Day  / Mummy
I just wanted to say that you have not been forgotten today daddy helped ben write 'Mum' for the first time on my card and I also had one from the both of you with your tiny hand prints on which I will treasure forever, I also had a bunch of my favourite flowers off ben and one from the both of you, I know you helped daddy decide to do that so Thank you both you have an affect on us all where ever you are, always.
Love you Connor xXx Love you Rhys xXx Close

Your beautiful garden  / Mummy
Boys, 
As I'm sure you both know I've been struggling this last fortnight, what with my birthday, starting work and now mothers day facing us I just can't seem to get my head straight. 
  We are still trying to find out what it was that took you from us, but the doctors are struggling with that, your blood results came back clear, we are now waiting on more results which hopefully will give us some clues.
   I've spent some time today sitting at your beautiful garden, it's a place I feel very close to you both and now the weather is alot better it's lovely to be there more, we have been trying to make it as colourful and as much fun as possible for you both and ben to enjoy.
   I know you both know how much I miss you, I just wish I could give you a big cuddle each and hear you make a little noise just the once, that doesn't seem much to want but we all know it's never going to be and that hurts so much. I love and miss you Connor, I love and miss you Rhys, my brave boys always. xXx xXx Close

Every day  / Aunty Lynne
Yesterday was a very hard day, especially for Mummy, there is no way i can imagine what it must of been like for her not to have had her two beautiful boys with her on her birthday. We all know how different the day should of been, but then we all know how different everyday should be. You have left an irreplaceable hole in our lives which is present all of the time but even more so on days like yesterday, you will always be a part of these days because you will always be a part of our family.
Missing you always, my two little angels xx   ^i^   ^i^   xx             Close

Just another day without you bothxx  / Mummy
My precious baby boys, I've missed you so much today, your big brother Ben has given me lots of cuddles to try and cheer me up, he knows how much mummy is hurting and it must be so hard for him but today especially we would have had a lovely day and I don't think any mum would want to be away from her children on her birthday and for us thats the way it's always going to be, unbelievable but true and theres no way I can change it nothing I can do to make it better. I just miss you both so much I know our lives weren't meant to be like this and it's unfair to have to accept this future without you both. I will always do anything and everything to involve you both in everything I do your presence in our lives has been paramount and as much as I don't see it right now I know there will be a reason for this happening to us, you will make us stronger and show us the way! Goodnight god bless you both, wherever you are.
Mummy to Ben, Connor and Rhys Always xXx xXx Close

Mummy's Birthday  / Beryl &. Jim Moore (Nanna & Grandad )
Hello Boys, As I'm sure you both know it's Mummy's Birthday today and she's a bit tearful because you both can't be with her, I'm sure you are both watching over her and are close by. We are all thinking about you today and we hope we can all help Mummy to enjoy her Birthday a little bit. Take care both of you miss you loads, love and kisses. xx Close

Another week  / Mummy
Hello Connor and Rhys, we are home after what has been an awful week, from the moment we left on monday I didn't feel right beening alone just the three of us and not at home was strange, I was feeling low aswell because I missed the support of nanna and Aunty Lynne, when ever I don't know where I'm heading their always there to pick me up and push me on and I guess what we realised is that I really need that still at the moment. We came home on wednesday, which turned out to be a good decision because I spent Thursday in bed with the flu, Bens still got his cold and our tempers are all over the place as were all tired, ill and of course missing you both.
  I sometimes wonder whether we'll have a good week ever again as time goes by I want and need you both more, I think if I had one last cuddle, one last chance to say I love you both would I feel better would it hurt less, I don't know and I guess I'll never find out I just hope you both know how much you were needed and still are. I don't know how to make everyone happy anymore, We hurt so much because we can't have you both and continue to hurt each other because were hurting, Help me find a way to go forward. I know you both know how much mummy needs you please watch over us all and give us the strength to find the Love we all shared again.
Love and Kisses to each of you.
Mummy xXx xXx Close

so very proud of your mum and dad  / Katie Moore (mum dads and ben's health visitor )
Hello Connor and Rhys.

Just wanted to tell you both how proud I am of your mum and dad. They miss you both lots and lots and are so very sad without you. But they are strong and love each other very much. They have lots of fun things planned to help raise money for SCBU and are looking forward to keeping your memory alive. 

This special place is certainly making mum and dad smile. You have a gorgeous big brother who will keep mum and dad proud and strong. 

Bye boys, Katie Close

Your Big Brother  / Mummy
Connor & Rhys,
Your big brother Ben has been very poorly today and I think I've been a bit over protective of him, I just hate seeing him hurt especially after losing the two of you. I 've just put him to bed and his temp has dropped a bit so hopefully he'll get a good nights sleep because were going away for a few days tomorrow. I know that where ever we are your watching over us and staying close. We need you both all the time, miss you both all the time and most of all love you both all the time. So even though I won't be at your sides each day I am always thinking of you and Nana and Aunty Lynne have promised to check on your flowers so any problems and they'll be there I'm sure. So I'll leave you now and speak on friday.
Love, Kisses and Big Hugs Always my Angels
Mummy x x x Close

Watch over me!  / Dewi (Uncle)
Hi Boys,
Tomorrow morning I have my passing out parade for the police, that’s right I’ve finally become a real policeman, who ever would have thought that. Just thought that I’d ask you both to look over me and make sure I don’t fall over or make a fool of myself. You’ll be in my thoughts all day and I know you’ll be watching. Take care boys, remember I love you both so very much x x. Close

Valentine's Day  / Beryl &. Jim Moore (Nanna & Grandad )
Hi Boys, Its Valentine's Day and Nanna has just made a box with hearts on with your big brother to give to Mummy & Daddy, it's never to be opened but it's full of hugs for whenever Mummy or Daddy feels sad. I am sure Ben will share it with you both so they will know you are both close by. This was one of your Aunty Lynne's ideas and as I'm sure you know she's always thinking about you both. Miss you both so much, love and kisses. xx   Close

cakes!! / Auntie Gem

Connor and Rhys i hope you have been watching the chaos today at auntie gem's school. We have been busy making and selling cakes in your memory and it's been great fun, we've even managed to get some of the teachers to bid for cherry pies and raffle a lovely looking chocolate cake (i'm sure your big brother would have loved to get a piece of that!). Anyway i wanted you to know that this event was all for you, it is one of the few ways i can think of to show how much i think of you both and your mummy and daddy and ben. You all mean so much to me. I know you are both taking good care of each other, keep doing that and watch over us all.

Love always

Auntie Gem xxxx

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Missing you ,Sorryxx  / Mummy
Boys, I'm so sorry I haven't been to see you. The weather is so bad I know your flowers are dying and it's not that we don't want to replace them it's just so hard keeping them alive in the snow. I'm missing not being with you but we are always thinking of you both and have your photos all around so I know your close. We love you always and if you could ask someone up there to keep the snow to a mininum, mummy would be really grateful. 
Love and Kisses Connor xxx
Love and Kisses Rhys xxx Close

Little Angels  / Aunty Lynne
Hello Boys 
I often come here to write something, having so much i want to say. But when i sit down to write my mind goes blank. How can I put into words all these feelings.
 There are no words to make it better and not enough words to say how much you both mean and are missed.
 You were both so strong and brave in the short time you were with us and I know that you've given that strength to us - especially to your Mummy and Daddy and that you'll make us as brave as you two.
 Keep looking after Mummy and Daddy and give them that extra strength they need each day and watch out for that cheeky big brother of yours I know he misses you so much. 
 For my two beautiful little angels i love you and miss you so much.
Aunty Lynne xxxx

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We knew you.xx  / Mummy
We found out today Boys that you were identical, something we had thought from the very beginning. Seeing you both together we had known in our hearts but had not had it confirmed until today, 3mths and 8days after you left us. We finally got up the courage to go and speak to your doctor and try and find a way forward for us all. We long to have you in our lives, but we all no that is not possible and have to be grateful for the brief encounter that we had, we hold tight to our memories and look for your strength to show us the way. You have both filled our lives in ways we never thought possible, we had a lifetime in 18 days with you that we will treasure forever but both myself and daddy have an aching for another baby to hold in our arms, we believe you both would want us to fill our lives with as much love and affection as possible and thats what we need to do. You know we will always love you both and never forget, where ever we all are and whatever we all do we are shared in each others thoughts and hearts. Look after each other until I can be with you, my beautiful identical twin boys!xx Close

Miss you both  / Beryl & Jim Moore (Nanna & Grandad )

I just don't know when things will start to get a bit better we miss you both so very much. We are all here to help Mummy, Daddy and Ben get through this because they hurt so much at the moment, they loved you both so much. I know you are looking down on them and looking after them all. Look after each other, always thinking about you. Love and kisses Nanna & Grandad xx 

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