I can't always say to you what i want to on the memorial candles as it does'nt give me enough space so i just wanted to say happy 3rd birthday boys we really miss you lots and we wish that you were with us everyday and that you are always in our thoughts i hope you are smiling down on us you both need to really look after Leah as she's so precious too love you all sweethearts.
Well as another year passes we celebrated bens birthday again 6 today he is growing up so fast and it is so special for us to see him change everyday our only heartache is that we know what were missing out on with the three of you.
Today was lovely as all birthdays should be but its always missing 3 special people and that is of course the 3 of you Ben would love to have you all around too share in his excitement the gifts and the fun. I can see that as he grows older he misses you more just like mummy and daddy he knows something big is missing in our lives which will never be replaced.
We are all growing stronger as we get on with life but that will never change the heart ache we all feel because you are not around.
I often sit here and start to write to the three of you, but leave without writing you a message as i dont know how to write what i want to say.
Its been a hard year this year which only makes me think of you all the more, and as its just been Leahs birthday and christmas tomorrow we all just realise how different things should be and would be if you were all here. I dont know how your Mummy and Daddy do it, people say it gets easier with time, i dont think it does i just think you learn better to cope with how your feeling because every year that passes i cant help but think what you would be doing, saying, and what you would be like, I imagine just like your big brother today - very hyperactive!
I know Mummy, Daddy and Ben have struggled this week with not being well, but help us to make tomorrow as nice a day as possible for them it'll be hard for mummy, Daddy and all your family in different ways but as long as you know even though your not here with us you'll be very much apart of tomorrow just like you are every day. There are so many people who care for you and think of you always Merry Christmas to you all i, wish i could give you all a christmas hug, but im sending you so many kisses and cuddles , Take care of each other,
Just wanted to leave you a little message before I go to bed....I wanted to be the first you hear from when you wake in the morning.
Even though we can't be together I hope you can see how much you are missed everyday, our lives will never be complete because 3 pieces of me and daddy are missing but with the strength you all left behind we will celebrate your day, with love in our hearts and tears in our eyes I know you will be watching.
Your big brother, is doing you all proud here, he sqeezed me tight before bed tonight and said "don't worry mummy i'm still here for you" which is so very special because he is so very young and knows how much it hurts to not have you here.
I don't believe wishes come true anymore! / Mummy Read >>
I don't believe wishes come true anymore! / Mummy
Boys,
The only wish I have is...... to hold you all once more.
Why is it, that this had to happen......? Why was it my children who got taken away.....? I ask these questions everyday with never any answers, I miss you all so much and hate feeling low but I see everyone else move on with their lives and i'm stood still......... hoping and wishing things were different.
After two long years it still seems like yesterday that you were here. I get by day to day and find that i can smile and be greatful that we met but the reality is, that wasn't enough and never will be....I wonder if broken hearts ever heal because i remember bein told when we lost you both, that time would heal....well i just hope they were right because it doesn't feel like it yet!
I will get through tomorrow like every other horrible day that faces us without you all, by staying strong and crying lots but not because I want to, because you have shown me how too, you both made those 18days possible fighting for us, now I promise to keep your memories alive and will fight for you both everyday.
Well as this your 2nd birthday draws to a close, I find myself scared of the next few weeks as I know what it's leading to now, that terrible day when we had to let you both go, our memories are all we have and they hurt so much to think that we will never hold you again.
All the important people in our lives have been so very kind to me daddy and ben today, letting us know they are there for us and our three beautiful angels. Your garden looks amazing full of bright flowers, dancing balloons and colourful pictures, we couldn't have wished for more love to have been showered over you both.
All we would ask for, if wishes could come true would to have you all back with us, to spend a little more time together, but then we all know how hard it is to say goodbye.....So we have to believe you left us for a reason, to be in a better place and one day we will all be together again. For now we take comfort in holding your big brother Ben who we grow more proud of every day as he shows us his ability to adapt to all the rubbish we keep throwing at him and still he holds me tight and tells me he miss the three of you constantly but that you are all safe in heaven.
I know I am a lucky mummy to have been blessed with 4 beautiful children, even though I cry without you. When my tears dry and I get up tomorrow, my smile will be back because you all make me carry on - Thank you.xx
I'm sorry that i havent wrote anything on here for such a long time, i know you understand why and you know how a day doesnt pass without me thinking of you all.
Thank you for your birthday wishes they mean alot to me and the hearts your brother drew from him and you are very very special to me, just as you all are. I know the flowers arent much but i just wanted you to know that i do think of you all and especially on special days its hard to go through them when you know theres not only one thing missing but three very important people who have left a huge whole in so many lives.
You all know im finding things very hard at the moment and thinking of how brave and strong you all are helps me alot. Your just like your Mummy, Daddy and Ben, always there for me when i need you and always will be.
Tomorrow will be another hard day although a celebration which is wonderful also a time for us to feel what might of been, give mummy and daddy your strength and look after them, they deserve it so much more than anyone i know.
I know, you know, what I'm going to say but I needed to say it anyway. Even though we had a lovely time at Ben and Jacks party today somethings were missing and that was the three of you!
I wish we could share just one birthday, just to be complete, to be the six of us, i try to believe we will one day.
Sending you all my love as always and wishing for more things than I can possibly say but believe me you are all in every one, lets just hope one can come true!
I just wanted you to know how much you have all been on my mind over that last couple of weeks. You know where we are heading and today when we returned home , Leah your stone had been layed. I was really upset that i hadn't been there for you all but it looks beautiful a perfect little tribute to our princess, but all i wish was that we could give you more. A stone is not what any mummy wants to give her child but i have to appreciate my memories and look forward to holding you all again one day in the future.
For now i hope you all understand why we are doing what were doing, you will always be a part of both me, daddy and ben. We Love you each so much and miss you more each day.
You are due today, My Little Girl.xx / Mummy Read >>
You are due today, My Little Girl.xx / Mummy
Leah,
Someone special sent this to me and it just says everything i'm feeling perfectly.
I've loved my child right from the start, A feeling that's filled my entire heart.
I went through the labour and suffered the pain, For many long hours with nothing to gain.
I've spent sleepless nights being awake, Though it's been a while my arms still ache.
I've sat and wondered of how she would grow, The love of my family that she'd come to know.
The sound of her voice as she learns to talk, Watching her steps as she tries to walk.
I have a child that I really love so, I am her mother yet nobody knows.
I spent all those months feeling her grow, I've lived through it all and have nothing to show.
I don't get invited to chat with young mothers, Because I don't have a baby like all of the others.
I've got some stretch marks that I'd like to hide, But I don't have a pram with my baby inside.
The people I've known for so many years, They avoid me now, which adds to my tears.
I don't know how long I'll be feeling like this, But one thing I know, my baby I miss.
When mothers day comes it will be very hard, I won't have any flowers or even a card, And just because she's not here with me, I still have a daughter I wish I could see.
But one thing I know and this is for sure, I'll be her mother for evermore!xXx
I love and miss you with all of my heart, Sleep tight my princess.xx
We have suffered another loss, as if losing our three precious babies hasn't been too much to bear already now sac has come to join you all.
Your Daddy, myself, Ben, Uncle dew and nainie are broken, we can only be greatful that you will all be together.
Ben is going to miss sac so much he is still asking where he has gone, but we've told him that it's your turns to play, cuddle and kiss him now and that we will all have to forever treasure our memories of sac and the time we've spent together.
Daddy, as you can imagine is weak from hurting and feeling this terrible pain. He puts a brave face on but I can see him hurting and I'm sure you can see it too. Help us both find our way, This is pushing us to our limits, is life meant to be this hard? We can only believe the answer is yes because if it's not you would all be here holding us now because thats what we need most of all.
Please send us your strength, it is our hope and future.
My beautiful baby girl, How I wish you could be in my arms today, warm and cozy. I miss you every moment of everyday and nothing I can do will take my hurt away. I have so many questions I wanted to ask you, So many things I wanted to learn about you. None of which, we will get the chance to do now.
I have a picture in my head of you which I will always believe, you would have had my hair colouring and even though your eyes were sleeping when we met, we know they would be hazel green like your Daddies, You were too Beautiful too keep and too delicate too touch, a blessing to our family.
Leah Hope always know you are Our Treasured Daughter and if our love could of saved you, you would have lived forever. We miss you always, cry endlessly but are thankful to have held you close, a bond made and sealed with Love.
Your big brothers gromets operation was stopped yesterday, was that something to do with the three of you? I had stressed so much over something bad happening to precious Ben and at the last moment the doctor said the benefits weren't worth the risk, did you hear me praying, did you see our pain. What ever you did thank you. The last week had been awful and I'd told your Daddy that I couldn't believe that things would be ok for us, I feel cursed and the thought of Ben getting hurt through something we'd let happen was to much to bear. I know you are all near me everyday, I just wish I could see you all. Keep watching over us and send us all peace because we are very much in need of that at the moment. One last request please keep an eye over Auntie Alma she needs your strength and Love to keep strong. All my Love now and always.
As you all probably know we have a new addition to our family, little Charlie, Bens new best friend! Since loosing Lucy and each of you, home has become a sad and different place to be and we are hoping maybe Charlie will be able to bring a few smiles back to our faces. We miss you all so much, nothing will ever be able to fill the empty spaces you each have left but we have to go forward each day and that has become so difficult since Leah left. Charlie has given ben a cheeky little partener in crime, he follows him around and you can see the happiness he has brought to Bens life instantly. We feel like it has been fate that brought Charlie to us but with a little bit of help from all of you i'm sure, you could see how miserable we all are without you and Charlie has been a complete miracle to find. So 'Thank you' when I ask for your help you always send it in mysterious ways and it's good to know your near. I believe you blessed our home with Charlie!
Love Always to my precious Babies, Your heartbroken Mummy xXx xXx xXx
Connor,Rhys and leah you are all together safe and sound in the white fluffy clouds jumping over the rainbows,and every time we see a twinkling star we know it's one of you shining down on us keeping an eye on your friends and family, you will never be fogotten by any of us especially me, i think of you daily, you all touched my heart so much, i've never cried so much like i did at your funerals, and never felt so much for your mummy and daddy,my hurt was enough to bear, so what your mummy and daddy were feeling and still are, is incomprehendable, but i no it will be a comfort to you that i will always try to look after your mummy, Daddy and Ben who are all very special to my heart and always will be , Ben you big brother is a very special boy too and Dale and Louis think the world of him, although i did'nt meet you face to face i feel in my heart i already know you and that is enough for me. Take care Angels ,your always in my thoughts, and i'll look out for you in the sky twinkling down on me LOVE aunty Deb xxx
Look after each other / Gem Edmunds (auntie)Read >>
Look after each other / Gem Edmunds (auntie)
Connir, Rhys and Leah,
The day you boys left us for heaven i never thought i could feel that sad again and then the day you followed them Leah, i felt it more so. Leah, your funeral brought back all the memories of Connor and Rhys's funeral, it seemed so cruel to see your mummy and daddy going through this all again. Your mummy and daddy are amazing people and the way they have marked your memory through your funerals, grave and this site is a tribute to thier commitment as the wonderful parents that they are to all 4 of you. Despite having never met any of you, you have touched me and my life so much that i will never forget you, you mean every bit as much to me as your cheeky big brother Ben. I hope that you are all up there in heaven looking after each other and smiling down on us. I miss you and think you daily.
MISSING YOU ALL / Beryl &. Jim Moore (Nanna & Grandad )Read >>
MISSING YOU ALL / Beryl &. Jim Moore (Nanna & Grandad )
Leah you are our precious angel who we will never forget we are just thankful we got to see and hold you in our arms. Yesterday was the second most saddest day of our lives the first being losing your beautiful brothers Connor & Rhys, I don't think we will ever get over losing you all. We know you are all together and you will look after each other. Your Mummy, Daddy & Ben love and miss you all so much but we will look after them and we're sure you will be watching over them. Sleep tight little angels we will always love you all. XXX Close
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Connor, Rhys & Leah,
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